[0.0s] previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[2.3s] Know that Voronox can be trusted, and I will save you this day, even if it costs me my life.
[7.4s] Oh, no, that's not necessary. Holy unnecessary, sir.
[13.1s] No, it's my holy charge.
[14.8s] It is so nice.
[17.4s] Thea, you first to hear it, you quickly turn and you look and you see the silhouette
[22.5s] of what looks like a very large dragon.
[25.8s] Dragon!
[27.7s] Excuse me, why are you doing this?
[29.6s] You are in my territory. Leave now or perish.
[35.4s] Okay.
[36.1s] Okay. What?
[38.5s] You see like this, this welling of, of, of energy in its chest at the what?
[43.9s] She's definitely going to do.
[45.2s] Five.
[46.1s] Oh, fuck with the count.
[47.5s] God damn it, Roz.
[48.2s] I don't know who you think you are, but that, that is mine.
[53.8s] No, you can't, you have to believe me, we're very good friends.
[57.0s] This scene plays out before you as you are standing in the middle of this building that
[64.4s] you're familiar with. Since memory comes back, you begin to be able to smell the wood in the
[71.2s] walls and the floor and the hearth burning, a stew cooking on the stove bubbling away,
[79.3s] and the sound of the whittling and the, the, the wooden carvings falling to the ground.
[87.8s] Hmm.
[90.1s] Peace.
[92.3s] I remember peace.
[96.6s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons, I'm your Dungeon Master Russ More.
[99.7s] He, him, also with me today is Tom Laird.
[103.4s] Yeah, that's me, he, him, and I am playing Flint, who also goes by he, him.
[107.7s] And Carla Maxted.
[109.0s] She, her, I am playing Lipsyn, Lipsinki Pip Diggins.
[114.2s] Hard one.
[115.1s] Also goes by she, her.
[117.2s] And Amy More.
[118.6s] Yeah.
[121.3s] And Carla Clasett.
[125.0s] I didn't even get a count to five that time.
[131.2s] And my wife, Amy More.
[132.4s] Oh, fuck you, okay, Carla Clasett.
[135.4s] Still not speaking to you.
[139.0s] Amy was left out of the intro all together.
[141.4s] How dare she swallow spit, forget who she was playing.
[147.9s] Sorry, Amy More.
[149.6s] Yeah, whatever, she, her.
[150.9s] Playing P.S., almost all of P.S., she, her, and Night Hunter, she, them.
[157.0s] And Kyle Clasett.
[158.7s] Hey, he, him, and I will be playing Vorunax, also he, him.
[162.5s] Thank you for joining us today, everybody.
[164.2s] You're welcome, sir.
[165.3s] Thank you for running a game for us.
[167.0s] Anytime, anytime, as long as it's a Tuesday.
[170.5s] Preferably Tuesdays at our regular scheduled time.
[173.3s] That's right.
[174.1s] Is there anything else you can do on a Tuesday?
[176.0s] I wouldn't know, I haven't had a free Tuesday in years.
[179.8s] What do other people do on Tuesdays?
[181.7s] I don't know, sign up for a Patreon
[183.0s] so that they can have an episode dedicated to them.
[186.4s] Today's Patreon?
[187.9s] Patreon?
[188.7s] Patreon patron.
[189.7s] Yeah.
[190.1s] I'm so sorry, Russ, I didn't mean to.
[192.0s] Oh, no, it happens.
[193.2s] No, it's beautiful.
[194.2s] We loved it.
[195.3s] So smooth.
[195.8s] God, we're going to have to start paying you just the dividends here, Kyle.
[198.9s] God damn.
[199.9s] Like, today's patron, ALex McCoon.
[202.6s] Thanks, ALex.
[203.3s] Thanks, ALex.
[205.4s] Thank you, ALex.
[207.1s] Where you hear Kyle in our Dumbgeons and Downtime over on Patreon,
[212.4s] you can do that there too,
[213.9s] because Kyle hangs out everywhere with us.
[216.1s] Our camera's doing weird color changes.
[218.4s] It's freaking me out.
[219.2s] Yeah, you guys are very red.
[219.8s] It's very warm.
[222.3s] Hot.
[222.9s] But when you join us over there at Patreon.com slash DumbDragonCast,
[226.4s] that's what you get.
[227.9s] More Kyle.
[229.9s] We've made him join everything we do.
[233.3s] It was, we started slowly, but we're quite insidious.
[237.0s] Russ sends me words and phrases to record,
[239.3s] and then he inserts them so quietly.
[240.9s] So you got to just listen.
[242.0s] Listen to everything multiple times.
[244.2s] See where you can hear me.
[245.0s] He is actually an adventures of.
[246.6s] Go search.
[247.3s] I've re-edited him back throughout the entire run of the show.
[251.6s] Perfect.
[252.0s] He just kind of pops in.
[253.7s] George Lucas'd me.
[254.7s] That's right.
[255.4s] Yep.
[255.7s] Yeah.
[256.5s] Okay, let's play.
[263.5s] Vorunax, you're standing in the middle of your home in Blackpool,
[267.1s] and you're watching Malice and Acer and yourself.
[270.0s] They're guiding your hands as they're teaching you how to craft the wooden horse
[277.3s] that you hold now in your hand that has brought you into this memory.
[281.7s] And you've been brought there by the spell that you cast upon it
[284.5s] to unlock all of your most precious memories.
[290.0s] Vorunax is just standing there watching it, remembering, like, that was peace.
[296.0s] That was peace for him.
[297.3s] And whether he still exists in, like, the material plane,
[301.1s] like, you know, if Lipsinki, Thea Knight, Hunter, and Flint can still see Vorunax,
[309.1s] he's just standing there, like, wide-eyed, crying.
[311.9s] I think it probably makes sense that they see you.
[316.1s] So you, in your mindscape, have gone somewhere else,
[319.7s] because that's probably how Vorunax would have relived these memories,
[325.1s] is in the solace of your chambers, not having to go anywhere,
[331.0s] not having to be interrupted by anybody, just reliving these moments.
[335.5s] So before you, everybody else, is Vorunax goes almost glassy-eyed
[343.3s] and is living something that you cannot see and begins weeping before you.
[350.2s] How does this memory end, Kyle?
[352.7s] This memory ends with Vorunax proudly showing his first carving,
[359.5s] and Malice just looks over at him and he says,
[365.1s] well, we've all got to start somewhere, don't we?
[368.5s] And he kind of just takes it and he gives a subtle nod and a sly grin,
[374.9s] and they just have a little bit of laugh at the expense of this crudely carved thing,
[380.2s] but it is the memory that really matters about it,
[384.3s] regardless of the quality of the carving.
[386.5s] It's something that started him on a specific path.
[390.7s] This memory begins to fade for you, and it begins to fade into a new memory, a new scene.
[403.1s] And it is a scene of, it's a bit of a montage, because I mean,
[409.3s] I assume that Vorunax has a little flair for the dramatic,
[413.5s] and so it's a montage of the thanks that townspeople have given him,
[421.6s] showing gratitude to Vorunax in different ways in one scene that it is melted into.
[428.7s] It is an old lady at a doorstep handing you a basket of freshly baked bread,
[434.5s] melting into a scene of children leaving bundles of wild flowers that they've picked on the side
[444.7s] of the roads at your doorstep, melting into you shaking hands with the town mayor
[452.9s] after getting rid of a particularly nasty, bothersome creature
[457.7s] that's been stopping trade routes between that town and the next.
[461.6s] And all these memories are flooding one after another in fairly quick succession
[467.0s] where you're feeling the overwhelming feeling of gratitude and respect and belonging
[473.4s] that you felt in this town.
[475.5s] I like that. I like that a lot.
[479.3s] Scene shifts, and we're back in Blackpool after a long journey that Vorunax has taken,
[487.1s] doing good in the world, and there's smoke rising from beyond the hills as he approaches,
[495.0s] rushes forward as fast as he can to try to get back to Blackpool,
[501.1s] to stop whatever is happening, but arrives there and sees the scene of devastation
[508.3s] that we as the storytellers have told already several times,
[519.9s] but it's where the entire town of Blackpool has been erased, its inhabitants destroyed.
[530.7s] And that's where we see Vorunax now, on his knees, weeping with malice and acer in his arms.
[543.2s] I think going down that rabbit hole, as far as things, this memory comes across as a mixture.
[557.0s] It means a lot because of who he lost.
[561.1s] The scene of, you know, coming across the scene of malice and an acer being dead in the home
[568.7s] that they shared for so long before Vorunax got his own.
[573.6s] Just the scene of devastation and destruction and realizing, you know,
[577.3s] like he had been betrayed despite all the good he had done.
[583.5s] It's that moment of turning and then spinning maybe like a week or so,
[592.4s] just kind of in a funk, in a daze, walking around, like not even staying in Blackpool,
[598.1s] like he'd probably left right afterwards.
[600.7s] So another montage of him just walking through different,
[604.7s] you know, different parts of the countryside and different cities,
[608.8s] ignoring people the entire way.
[612.0s] Not like somebody on the side of the road pays them no mind, doesn't answer.
[620.7s] And then he reaches a point where he comes across another pAlydin,
[628.9s] a young pAlydin getting his start.
[631.9s] And this is the first time Orcus whispers to him.
[638.2s] Zed, he follows the one that killed your family.
[644.0s] That was the first whisper.
[647.9s] And that was the first time that Vorunax took pleasure in his rage
[655.2s] by murdering that nameless pAlydin and leaving him on the side of the road.
[663.7s] A scene of Vorunax wiping his blade on the grass,
[672.9s] sheathing his weapon, carrying on with this,
[682.9s] what he didn't see at the time but sees now through this altered version of this memory.
[693.1s] Of this figure floating, this aura and figure floating behind him
[700.5s] and beginning to follow him through this and all future memories that come.
[709.1s] The next scene I don't particularly have an idea for.
[712.0s] It's like something that's happened, obviously,
[716.3s] and we have loosely explained.
[719.3s] But when he goes back to Blackpool and sets that up, how does that sit in a
[730.8s] good memory?
[732.7s] When he goes back to Blackpool after killing that pAlydin and starts to
[740.3s] follow Orcus more and take over that town and convert people,
[745.3s] he feels good about that, right?
[748.3s] He feels like he is helping them and also he feels some control,
[755.1s] which obviously feels good when your whole everyone you love has been destroyed.
[762.1s] So he has family dinners with all of the deceased in Blackpool.
[768.7s] It's kind of a good memory.
[769.9s] The memory fades into a scene of the battle at the Well of the Dragons and we see forces on all sides
[785.5s] fighting and dying and the image of these swirling souls is coming into view.
[796.8s] And all of these souls are churning about trying to find their place and being driven up into this
[805.4s] storm that is brewing above the Well of the Dragons.
[809.9s] They're being sucked into what is this hidden or obscured portal in the sky and we see
[819.7s] and we see
[823.9s] off in the distance we see Varnax and Varnax is standing behind himself and a group of his
[831.2s] closest regime and watching this and enacting this and the casters that he has around him
[837.9s] propelling this energy forward.
[840.3s] We see these souls being sucked up into this portal and appearing and churning within the
[847.4s] abyss, the roiling bubbling ichor of the abyss right in Orcus's lair.
[857.6s] Orcus is standing over this this funnel that is feeding directly into him and he is absorbing
[865.0s] this energy that's coming through.
[867.5s] He's eating it up and we see him gaining power this hideous grotesque
[874.7s] bulbous body with this goat skull head.
[878.5s] He is cackling with the most venomous laughter as he is gaining this initial
[888.3s] push this initial power that allowed him to begin taking over the gods.
[893.7s] Which seems like an apt transition to one of these jails, one of these holding facilities
[901.3s] where we found Bahamut and several of the other gods and know that they were and are
[910.2s] being held.
[912.5s] The scene is dark, sound of those chains echoing in the air,
[919.5s] dark sound of those chains echoes out through the space.
[927.5s] And Pelor is visible, a god of light who appears to be becoming extinguished.
[938.7s] Yeah, so, um, Orcus let Varnax kind of go to town on Pelor as they've got them all
[948.8s] chained and collared up and obviously being a god and Varnax not being a god, he wasn't able
[955.9s] to to do much other than inflict some minor pain on Pelor even after countless hours of
[964.3s] attempting to torture him and that's when Orcus presented the wand into Varnax's hands
[973.8s] and said this is what will help you in your quest.
[980.7s] And there's this kind of like, you know, cut scene of like him, him wielding the wand close
[987.7s] to his face and you see like this eerie glow on his face and then like the camera stays there
[994.7s] but the wand moves out of scene and then you see like a flash of this eerie light on the other
[1000.6s] way and then Varnax just like smiles, this like evil smile. Do you have god blood on his face?
[1007.7s] Yes. I mean, yeah.
[1012.7s] And there's the first day when he works with Lipsynche, she's just an intern.
[1018.4s] But there's something about her. Immediate connection. Kind of a real evil streak,
[1023.7s] truth be told. This kid's got moxie. She really, yeah, can be creative in her cruelty
[1033.5s] and then just montages of them going on great adventures that they love. They
[1042.5s] create a giant wave and drown a whole town to turn them into undead or they go
[1049.4s] and cause the creeping death and destruction around a small town as like everything just dies
[1057.9s] around it closes in and as they try to escape they die and nothing can be done. And man,
[1065.5s] Lipsynche and Varnax just, it's so funny like when that one guy tries to run out,
[1071.2s] what's he thinking even? We're taking bets and whatnot.
[1074.9s] 100%. And of course we're in the airship and we're like working on prototypes of our
[1083.1s] undead drop zones. You have to account for the wind.
[1088.0s] Yeah, yeah. And I mean, it is gross and cruel, but the undead are like this never-ending
[1098.0s] resource of cannon fodder that we can just manipulate in all kinds of terrible ways
[1106.7s] and feed off each other. Like, oh yeah, well how about this? Oh yeah, well how about this?
[1112.4s] And yeah, become great friends with their shared cruelty, but I think also
[1120.5s] like come to actually care about each other and yeah, are actually friends even if it's
[1128.8s] all based on, you know, taking over the world with Undead for Orcus.
[1131.9s] And not that either of them would admit it.
[1133.5s] Yeah.
[1134.1s] They're colleagues.
[1135.5s] Totally.
[1136.3s] I think all those memories running together eventually coalesce into one moment where it's
[1143.7s] just Vorunax and Lipsynche and they look tired. They've been at work for a while
[1152.2s] getting things done and they look just fatigued and Vorunax takes a moment,
[1161.0s] sits back, looks at Lipsynche, just says,
[1165.0s] Lipsynche, I have to admit
[1173.1s] that if there were one person I would want to see left alive, it'd be you.
[1181.2s] Oh, you. I feel the exact same way.
[1185.8s] Feels like a shame that we're eventually gonna have to go that way too, doesn't it?
[1191.4s] Well, I guess I hadn't really thought about it. At some point we will run out of other people.
[1202.3s] Yeah.
[1204.7s] Huh.
[1205.2s] Well, the work must be done, right?
[1209.6s] And there's a whole world to or at least, you know, a fifth of a world left.
[1215.8s] Right. I mean, this is what we've been taught.
[1222.0s] Must be done, right?
[1224.5s] Absolutely.
[1228.0s] Well, if it must be done again, I'm glad I get to do it with you.
[1233.7s] Thank God I don't have to do it with that fucking Shangri-La guy. That guy's a fucking brick.
[1238.0s] Yeah, he was one of the worst and we have seen the worst.
[1242.5s] You know what? I think we're the worst.
[1246.3s] We are the worst.
[1247.6s] Clean cups.
[1248.9s] Whatever. You guys are drinking out of the same malt glass.
[1253.6s] Oh, yeah. Passing the straws.
[1254.9s] Two straws.
[1255.4s] It's Shangri-La's skull.
[1258.9s] Yes.
[1269.7s] Do you want to hang out with us? It's gonna be a great time on the first Tuesday of the month
[1277.5s] of the month with Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[1281.4s] We have a hang out every Tuesday.
[1284.7s] Not every Tuesday.
[1286.7s] Just the first Tuesday of the month.
[1290.7s] Okay, I'd like you all to just in your in your mind's eye,
[1295.5s] picture Russ, our wonderful, very, very handsome DM Russ,
[1301.6s] arms tightly clenched around himself, eyes closed.
[1307.0s] Creating this song for you. Messing up halfway through with a calendar thing,
[1312.5s] which I'm sure is just killing him right now. But powering on.
[1319.0s] It was beautiful.
[1319.9s] It was really great.
[1320.8s] Thank you.
[1321.0s] It was really beautiful.
[1323.3s] But everything he said was true, except for the every Tuesday thing.
[1325.9s] I corrected myself. So then everything else became true.
[1328.2s] Right. There was like a fact check within the-
[1331.9s] Real time fact checking.
[1333.6s] Yeah, exactly.
[1335.0s] We're just sitting over going, nope.
[1337.1s] Nope. But yes, we do have a gook hang.
[1341.7s] Fun fact, the original was dubbed gook hang because it was previously on Google Hangouts.
[1347.9s] It's true.
[1348.7s] And even though we don't use it anymore,
[1350.9s] the name just kind of stuck and now it is a thing.
[1353.9s] So we do that on the first Tuesday every month.
[1359.0s] See, it's not so easy.
[1359.9s] It seems like every month you run out a little bit there.
[1363.9s] It's the cry of all the patrons going, it should be every Tuesday.
[1369.5s] But then we could never record the podcast.
[1371.7s] That's true.
[1372.2s] That would not work.
[1373.7s] That's true.
[1374.4s] That would be a problem.
[1374.9s] But it's real fun. We hang out and talk about the show and mostly just actually
[1379.7s] bullshit about just what we've been up to, what shows we're watching, and yeah, it's fun.
[1386.2s] It's got a live chat within it that we watch and talk to you and ask you questions
[1391.5s] and find out more about what's going on in your world.
[1394.8s] But also a Q&A that Tom is very much in charge of.
[1397.9s] Absolutely.
[1398.5s] I look forward to ignoring more of Jess's messages.
[1401.5s] That's right.
[1401.9s] If you're anyone who is not Jess, like ask in that Q&A.
[1405.5s] Yeah, use that Q&A.
[1406.3s] That's for you.
[1406.8s] And we will answer.
[1408.6s] Oh, Jess, we love you.
[1411.1s] Okay. But we would love to have you.
[1413.1s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast where we're recording this in the past.
[1416.7s] So I don't know if we've made it to our goal yet, but if we haven't,
[1419.7s] we hope that you come join us and help us do that.
[1422.7s] 100 patrons.
[1423.5s] It's a community goal.
[1424.4s] A hundred people, a lot of people in one space.
[1426.4s] So many people.
[1427.5s] So many people.
[1428.3s] And we would love for you to be there.
[1429.8s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[1431.3s] Okay, bye.
[1432.1s] Bye.
[1432.7s] Bye Tuesday.
[1440.7s] To Kyle, for Vorunax, do you feel like that would be one of the last
[1444.0s] memories that he probably would have stored in there?
[1446.3s] I think that's the last memory.
[1447.9s] Yeah, that that he has in there.
[1452.5s] I don't think he has the memory of what he did on the beach
[1455.2s] because it just wasn't that time.
[1459.1s] And so, yeah, I guess Vorunax would come out of that glassy eyed look
[1464.8s] just like so many liquids coming out of the face
[1469.0s] in like an embarrassing way where he just like kind of like
[1472.3s] puts up puts up his cloak and, you know, he's a little embarrassed.
[1476.1s] He's just like, I,
[1482.2s] you lip-synchy, you appear to mean a lot to me
[1489.5s] in ways that I didn't think would be possible
[1496.3s] going forward from where I've been.
[1498.5s] Well, it's true, we're very good friends,
[1504.0s] and we were very, very good being very, very bad.
[1509.6s] But now, you made this incredible sacrifice
[1515.5s] and Orcus was rising, you died, and we're here to,
[1523.1s] we want your help.
[1524.0s] Vorunax walks over and takes the carving that future Vorunax gave you
[1534.7s] and puts it back in your hand and takes your hand
[1536.7s] and clasps it over it and says,
[1539.9s] this is yours, hold on to it.
[1544.1s] And he holds on to, he puts his hand back on it
[1548.6s] and also kind of like taps lip-synchy on the forehead
[1552.4s] between the eyes and says,
[1555.4s] if you ever want to relive some of your memories with him,
[1561.6s] all you have to do is just call upon it, should be able to know.
[1569.1s] But if you're half as good as those memories made it seem to be, then
[1575.4s] perhaps I could get started on a new friendship early.
[1577.9s] That is if, well, and I look over at like everyone else, just like,
[1587.9s] I'm guessing you'll kind of forgive the things that I've done,
[1593.1s] but I guess I haven't done yet.
[1596.1s] Well, I mean, I'm not going to lie,
[1597.1s] the stuff you've done already isn't great.
[1600.0s] Yeah, and I'd say it's in the past, but.
[1602.6s] But it's in the now, but also it is in the past.
[1605.4s] But you know what?
[1608.9s] We came to do a job, and if you can help us do that job,
[1615.4s] then you got your whole future in front of you, kid.
[1617.9s] What if I could just step out of the picture, not die.
[1625.6s] I mean, Orcas would find me anywhere.
[1627.3s] No, this is pointless.
[1630.7s] And if I were to just die,
[1632.8s] then you'd wind up fighting me one way or the other.
[1636.7s] Oh, yeah, we would prefer you not die.
[1639.5s] You are kind of pivotal to this whole plan we've got.
[1643.3s] Yeah, I didn't.
[1644.7s] We, I'm not sure if we made this clear.
[1646.9s] We traveled in time to get back here so that you could help us.
[1652.7s] Okay.
[1653.5s] You have what we need.
[1656.8s] Only you.
[1657.7s] You are, you know, cornerstone, linchpin.
[1662.9s] No, no.
[1663.5s] That all the other important bits.
[1665.9s] You are saviors.
[1667.3s] You are the heroes that people talk about.
[1670.7s] But you fall into that like you fall into bad guy stuff.
[1676.0s] I'm just saying.
[1677.5s] Okay.
[1677.8s] Well, I'm just saying.
[1681.9s] But the gods, they, what they did,
[1685.5s] you still believe in them enough to stop what they're doing?
[1690.8s] Well, they didn't.
[1693.5s] They, yeah, it was more Orcas did that to your memories.
[1701.5s] He puts on a great show.
[1704.3s] That's what I saw.
[1706.0s] Of course.
[1707.0s] We know.
[1707.5s] We know that's what you saw.
[1709.0s] We got to see you see it.
[1712.6s] Twice.
[1713.6s] And you see like a green dragonborn blushing, which a little odd,
[1718.8s] but you know, it happens.
[1721.3s] Chuck truce.
[1722.9s] Yes.
[1724.5s] Do not be embarrassed.
[1727.8s] I mean, I already let you carry me.
[1730.4s] And I've seen you cry.
[1732.4s] In my culture, we are practically married.
[1734.7s] Don't tell my wife.
[1736.3s] Good to know.
[1736.8s] I'll be sure to keep it on the DL.
[1739.8s] Um, but, uh, I, I just, I just don't know.
[1746.4s] This is a stock.
[1748.1s] It's just all very soon, very sudden.
[1751.3s] I don't, I don't know what it means.
[1754.4s] It's like a crisis of faith and met with an existential crisis,
[1758.5s] met with an ego death.
[1763.5s] If you said my old future self sacrificed themselves for it,
[1768.5s] then there was something, something that at the end,
[1771.7s] it didn't seem right in my memories.
[1774.0s] It was a memory where we were talking.
[1775.9s] And I asked you, like, do, do, do we have to do this or
[1781.1s] something along the lines of being like,
[1783.1s] eventually it's going to have to be us.
[1784.5s] And I didn't sound confident.
[1789.0s] Yeah.
[1789.2s] I mean, that, that crisis of faith and,
[1792.7s] and existential crisis and ego death.
[1795.5s] I mean, my goodness, I've, I've seen you do this two times today.
[1799.9s] Now once, once super evil, you super awesome, badass evil,
[1804.9s] you on the deck of an airship and you changed your mind
[1808.6s] and you wanted to help them.
[1810.7s] And now here it's, it's happening again and,
[1815.1s] and just know that you were way further along in serving orcas then,
[1822.8s] and you still changed your mind.
[1824.6s] Oh, and convinced Lipsinki to change hers because she was.
[1832.7s] I was not.
[1833.5s] No, I was still worried.
[1835.5s] She's going to turn on us.
[1838.7s] I don't trust you.
[1841.2s] I, I trust you Lipsinki.
[1847.1s] Feels odd.
[1847.6s] It feels like you've, you've been in the, you know,
[1852.6s] you've been in the organization a little bit longer than I have technically.
[1855.5s] And I feel like you're kind of my superior at this point.
[1859.5s] And well, if you're turning coat for lack of a better phrase, then fuck it.
[1867.9s] I guess it's just going to lead me to death one way or the other.
[1870.9s] Then what kind of existence is that?
[1878.6s] Well, I guess that means now you're my intern.
[1882.6s] I think that's only fair.
[1886.0s] Montage.
[1887.1s] He's at a typewriter at a desk.
[1889.3s] He's getting Lipsinki coffee.
[1891.1s] I, I take a drink and I throw it.
[1895.5s] He's not hot enough.
[1896.5s] He's up on the, the intern Memorial wall.
[1899.7s] Oh no.
[1901.5s] Things have gone too far.
[1903.6s] Things have gone too far.
[1905.9s] Well, I guess that means, uh, we have lots of work to do, uh, uh, infiltrating orcas
[1915.5s] is a system and taking him down from the inside now before he can recap it
[1921.4s] and destroy the world 10 years from now.
[1926.2s] Yeah.
[1926.4s] So it only took that long.
[1929.1s] Well, you and I were a very, we were a very efficient team.
[1935.1s] Uh, I know you can't really say because you don't know how powerful he gets in the future,
[1941.4s] but on a scale of like kind of annoying to totally taken over the world,
[1946.7s] where would you put orcas right now?
[1950.1s] Like, what are we?
[1953.0s] I, I think if orcas wants someone dead, they will find a way to make that someone dead.
[1962.0s] Um, and then undead.
[1965.2s] But naturally, you understand unnaturally, you know what I mean?
[1970.1s] Yeah.
[1970.5s] Yeah.
[1971.8s] It's very confusing.
[1972.7s] Now a few deities have already been removed and that power course goes to orcas,
[1982.3s] even if the death comes at a hand of one of the followers.
[1986.7s] So I know a payload is in there.
[1989.9s] A few others.
[1992.7s] It's a, it would be a hard, hard pressed fight to you.
[1997.4s] Well, you just got here.
[1999.7s] I don't imagine you have any other allies.
[2001.9s] Oh God, I'm your only ally right now.
[2005.0s] Yes.
[2005.6s] Yeah.
[2006.0s] Correct.
[2007.7s] Yeah.
[2009.5s] Yeah.
[2009.8s] Do you realize how bat shit crazy that sounds?
[2012.3s] Yeah.
[2012.7s] I mean, to be fair, our only ally at this time in this place,
[2019.1s] but there's other, it's so much more complicated than even we've explained to you.
[2024.1s] Oh my gosh, you guys, can we find us?
[2029.0s] Oh, yeah, you, we haven't met yet here.
[2035.8s] But I mean, you two were bound to meet sooner rather than later.
[2039.9s] How fucked up am I fucking things up right now?
[2042.1s] There's a crack of energy above you, above the canopy of the forest.
[2049.1s] And Bahama comes down and goes, no, no, no.
[2055.5s] No, there's a crack of energy above you.
[2058.0s] And you hear just this faint distant sound.
[2062.3s] Oh no.
[2065.9s] Is this a countdown from five?
[2069.3s] It's fucking Grancis.
[2080.1s] I probably could have stopped him from falling, but I just didn't want to.
[2086.5s] Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
[2089.7s] I got Donnie.
[2091.9s] Oh my God.
[2093.6s] Hey, you forgot me in the fucking future.
[2096.3s] Jesus Christ.
[2097.6s] Listen, lots been going on.
[2099.0s] Are you okay, buddy?
[2099.9s] You put me in a bag and said, don't come out.
[2102.6s] And I was supposed to grab the bag.
[2105.2s] A lot happened.
[2106.0s] There was a giant portal.
[2107.5s] And then old man Dingus over here walks out on the beach like, anybody out here?
[2112.7s] I was so fucked out and said, is anybody out here?
[2116.0s] And then I said, well, I guess it's just you and me.
[2118.7s] And then you know what he did?
[2119.7s] He picked up the bag and we walked into a portal.
[2122.5s] Just a random fucking portal.
[2124.9s] Okay.
[2125.8s] Did it close behind you?
[2126.9s] Do you know if it closed behind you?
[2128.5s] I don't know.
[2129.1s] Look up.
[2131.1s] That wasn't there before.
[2132.9s] There's no portal.
[2134.5s] I guess it closed.
[2135.9s] Oh.
[2137.1s] Like the anus of one of those flappy flying things that flies at you backwards
[2142.8s] and tries to eat you from the inside out, upside down, and sideways.
[2148.4s] There's a lot of things that happened after you fucking left.
[2151.5s] Honey, I'm sorry.
[2152.8s] You want a cracker?
[2154.1s] Yeah.
[2154.7s] Yeah, I do want a cracker.
[2155.5s] Get over here.
[2155.9s] Do you have crackers?
[2156.7s] We're in the time before the crackers disappeared.
[2159.7s] I put a pocket full of crackers, but I forgot my pocket dragon.
[2163.2s] She cuddles him with him reluctantly, eating crackers.
[2167.7s] Hey, everybody.
[2169.6s] What is happening here?
[2172.7s] I'm Grancis.
[2173.8s] Hi.
[2174.4s] Nice to meet you.
[2175.2s] Grancis.
[2176.2s] We don't need to introduce,
[2178.0s] because that seems like a little bit overkill at this point.
[2181.6s] There.
[2184.0s] So Grancis and I, before I became your intern,
[2189.8s] I was just like-
[2190.8s] We were homies.
[2191.6s] Working in the abyss.
[2193.5s] I wouldn't say we were homies, but-
[2197.2s] Side pieces.
[2198.2s] We were colleagues.
[2200.3s] We did dig together.
[2204.3s] We fucked is what I'm trying to say.
[2205.8s] We fucked.
[2206.3s] Fine.
[2206.8s] Everybody knows it.
[2209.7s] We got down and dirty in the underworld.
[2212.4s] No.
[2214.4s] No, I refuse.
[2216.1s] No.
[2217.1s] Kill me all you want.
[2219.1s] I am not Grancis' lover.
[2222.6s] In fact, you said lover sounds a lot worse than side pieces.
[2226.7s] Anyways, what I was trying to say is I don't know,
[2230.1s] but I'm here because they thought I was powerful.
[2233.6s] Well, I mean, you were at one time.
[2235.4s] Yeah.
[2236.2s] And you got out of here.
[2238.2s] I mean, you didn't take an internship.
[2239.9s] You-
[2240.4s] Oh, out of the abyss?
[2242.0s] Yeah.
[2242.3s] I heard that he was rescued.
[2244.5s] I was rescued by a tiny goblin named Flamikinskins.
[2249.1s] You can hear those adventures at Patreon.com.
[2253.6s] Wow.
[2256.9s] An in-character.
[2257.8s] Mid-episode plug.
[2261.7s] Anyways, I was powerful and I lost my book.
[2266.7s] You need a book to be powerful?
[2268.4s] Yeah, I'm a wizard.
[2270.5s] When did you lose book?
[2272.5s] Before I died the first time.
[2274.8s] I died, crashed.
[2277.3s] I crashed, landed a ship, saved everybody's life.
[2280.5s] Right, Thea?
[2281.4s] Right, Flint?
[2283.0s] Yeah.
[2283.9s] Yeah.
[2285.0s] Yep.
[2285.5s] I trust that's correct.
[2287.1s] That power went down.
[2290.4s] And he makes one hell of a pancake.
[2292.3s] You did tell me that story like a hundred million times,
[2298.4s] so I believe it.
[2299.9s] Thea, make a perception check.
[2301.8s] Why?
[2302.0s] Because I can't actually remember when that happened.
[2304.5s] Well, no, you can of course remember when that happened.
[2307.5s] No, Amy can't.
[2308.7s] 26.
[2310.0s] When he says...
[2311.9s] Right, Thea?
[2312.3s] Right, Flint?
[2312.8s] You see him stop and hang on Flint for a moment.
[2316.7s] Then kind of shake it off.
[2320.5s] Yeah, no, we were flying an airship and it crashed
[2325.1s] and then we were attacked by Gull to the Dragon.
[2329.1s] That seems like something that was probably happening at the time.
[2332.6s] And then I used the electric power and summoned it
[2335.9s] and it vaporized my body, but saved you.
[2340.3s] I mean, it was pretty cool.
[2342.3s] It was pretty cool.
[2344.3s] It was pretty cool.
[2346.1s] That meal that he made though before we
[2349.5s] experienced all that was even better though, Flint.
[2351.5s] Oh, what was it?
[2352.6s] I only remember making us pancakes, but that wasn't that.
[2356.3s] Pancakes are fucking delicious.
[2359.8s] Okay.
[2361.1s] Anyway, glad you're here.
[2362.9s] I mean, Vorunax was just freaking out that he was the only ally we had in this time period.
[2370.1s] Oh, I'm an ally.
[2371.7s] Yeah.
[2372.8s] A friend of everyone's.
[2374.7s] Good.
[2375.7s] Is your book findable in this time period?
[2378.7s] Just curious.
[2380.4s] Because otherwise, you're what we call a liability.
[2384.0s] No, yeah, that's pretty cool.
[2386.5s] Well, you've got your wand.
[2390.5s] You have no real other landmarks to point at other than this tree right here.
[2396.6s] This tree looks like it may be grew since the last time I was here.
[2402.3s] So yeah, there's probably a book.
[2404.4s] I mean, I'm dead right now.
[2406.3s] Maybe I'm down in the, am I down in the abyss?
[2409.7s] Vorunax, can you find out if I'm down in the abyss?
[2411.7s] Because if I'm down in the abyss, I'm dead, which means my book is somewhere.
[2415.4s] Did you guys pick up my book after I died?
[2417.5s] There's kind of a lot going on.
[2419.5s] No, they didn't pick up my book.
[2420.9s] Well, there was a lot going on.
[2422.4s] You crashed a ship.
[2424.4s] I did not crash a ship.
[2425.3s] You electrocuted everything.
[2427.5s] The cult of the dragon crashed the ship.
[2429.7s] You did a controlled landing.
[2432.5s] I saved everybody.
[2434.6s] Also.
[2435.1s] Am I down in the abyss?
[2438.1s] Yeah, I mean, there's a lot down there.
[2440.5s] There's an old wrinkly guy who goes, oh, oh boy.
[2444.7s] Yep, you're down there.
[2446.2s] Great, great, I'm dead.
[2447.3s] You're upsetting the dog.
[2448.8s] Yep, the dog's got to poop.
[2450.7s] I remember that.
[2452.1s] Okay, I'm down in the abyss.
[2453.6s] Means my book's somewhere.
[2454.9s] We get my book.
[2457.1s] Step one, get my book.
[2458.6s] Step two, money.
[2461.0s] Money?
[2462.8s] Okay.
[2463.7s] Step three, save the world.
[2465.9s] You might actually need money to gather some forces.
[2468.7s] That might not be a bad idea, actually.
[2470.5s] Do you have a way to find a book?
[2473.4s] It could be anywhere in the world.
[2475.3s] Where are we?
[2476.5s] I need to make a divining rod.
[2478.3s] You know, like a divining rod?
[2479.7s] Sure, to find water.
[2481.1s] Nighthunter just snaps a giant branch off of a tree and goes,
[2485.9s] this good?
[2487.4s] Well, I can make this work.
[2489.2s] He begins walking off into the forest.
[2492.3s] While he does that, I'm just going to cast Locate Object.
[2495.5s] Yes.
[2496.7s] I don't know if it's within range, though.
[2498.9s] It's got to be within 1,000 feet of me.
[2500.6s] I doubt that's the case.
[2502.3s] That would be super convenient, wouldn't it?
[2504.2s] Wouldn't it be, yeah, right?
[2505.5s] Roll a D100 for us, Kyle.
[2507.1s] See if it's in that tree.
[2509.1s] Can we do a thing where it opens a map
[2511.4s] and it'll like glow on it or something via Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
[2515.6s] Sure.
[2516.7s] We'll get out the Ouija board and it will spell us where it is.
[2519.3s] No, you never work with a Ouija board.
[2520.9s] Sure.
[2523.6s] You're a second-in-command to Orcus.
[2526.6s] We'll grant a little bit of a wider net than the 1,000 feet.
[2531.0s] So you cast Locate Object.
[2533.4s] And yeah, does anybody have a map?
[2536.7s] I do.
[2537.3s] Totally.
[2538.0s] I was ascribed.
[2539.1s] I have all sorts of papers.
[2540.6s] Great.
[2541.3s] One of these is a map.
[2543.9s] You cast Locate Object.
[2545.1s] Your map begins to like, bzz, bzz.
[2547.8s] Oh, it's vibrating.
[2549.7s] And I'm like, just one sec.
[2552.1s] Your table for four is ready at the Cactus Club.
[2554.7s] Oh, wow, you went Dora the Explorer.
[2556.6s] I was going Vibrator.
[2557.9s] It was two different moves.
[2560.1s] Wow, this is very different.
[2562.6s] It's like backpack.
[2568.9s] I'm not apologizing for anything.
[2573.7s] It's on the city of Greenest.
[2579.5s] Dumbgeons & Dragons Season 2 Episode 124 starring Amy More as Thea and Night Hunter,
[2585.2s] Carla Maxted as Lipsynche, Tom Laird as Flint,
[2588.7s] with Kylan Claset as Vorunax, and Russ More as your dungeon master.
[2592.5s] Production and sound design by Russ More.
[2594.7s] This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound,
[2597.2s] and Kavin McLeod of incompetech.filmmusic.io,
[2600.4s] and sound effects from Epidemic Sound, Boom Library, and Sound Ideas.
[2604.3s] A huge thank you to our supporting producers,
[2606.6s] Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babyok, Cat Waterflame,
[2609.5s] Jacob Madden, Christian Brown, Devin Michaels, Craig Zeiss,
[2612.7s] Erin Stevens, Daryl Lynn, Lou Lehan, L.A. Branton, Perry Matey,
[2617.1s] and Nathaniel Teeter.
[2618.6s] You can support us and the shows we create directly
[2620.8s] by visiting Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragon Cast.
[2623.8s] Help us reach 100 patrons and we'll throw an exclusive improv live show
[2627.5s] for every one of our patrons.
[2629.5s] Thank you for listening.
[2630.4s] Have a great week.
[2631.5s] We'll talk again soon.
[2650.8s] God, that's the exact fucking thing.
[2653.4s] Usually I'm mind melding with Carla, but I'm...
[2656.3s] Without a word of a lie,
[2657.6s] it was a townsperson handing him freshly baked bread.
[2661.8s] And I'm sure I would have liked it if Tom did it too.
[2664.4s] But not as much though, right?
[2665.8s] Probably not as much.
[2666.5s] It goes better with me.
[2668.8s] All Tom's would have been was just,
[2670.3s] you get some bread.
[2672.8s] No, I'm sure Tom is like crossing off like,
[2674.9s] bread, flowers.
[2678.2s] He gave me some bread.
[2681.7s] Oh my God, does he have Nularaaais' soul?
[2686.1s] Sounds like it.
[2687.1s] I...
[2689.3s] Amy has quit the podcast.
[2690.9s] Quit.
[2693.4s] I know where Nularaaais' soul is, do you?
[2696.8s] I put a tracker on it.
[2699.5s] Fucking knife, isn't it?
[2700.7s] I don't know.
[2701.2s] Where's that knife anyway?
[2703.0s] Leosin has it?
[2705.9s] Mystery.
[2706.5s] Dumbgeons & Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.